Sunday, October 11, 2009

Zombie Land

Hide in your shell cos the world is out to bleed you for a ride
What will you gain making your life a little longer?
Heaven or hell, was the journey cold that gave your eyes of steel?
Shelter behind painting your mind and playing joker

Too frightening to listen to a stranger
Too beautiful to put your pride in danger
Youre waiting for someone to understand you
But youve got demons in your closet
And youre screaming out to stop it
Saying lifes begun to cheat you
Friends are out to beat you
Grab on to what you scramble for

Dont let the tears linger on inside now
Cos its sure time you gained control
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know
Well, let me show you the nearest signpost
To get your heartback and on the road
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know.

All through the night as you like awake and hold yourself so tight
What do you need, a second-hand-movie-star to tend you?
I as a boy, I believed the saying the cure for pain was love
How would it be if you could see the world through my eyes?

Too frightening- the fires getting colder
Too beautiful- to think youre getting older
Youre looking for someone to give an answer.
But what you see is just an illusion
Youre surrounded by confusion
Saying lifes begun to cheat you
Friends are out to beat you
Grab on to what you can scramble for
Dont let teh tears...
... just let me know
I wanna know...
I wanna know you...
Well let me know you
I wanna feel you
I wanna touch you
Please let me near you
Can you hear what Im saying?
Well Im hoping, Im dreamin, Im prayin
I know what youre thinkin
See what youre seein
Never ever let yourself go

Hold yourself down, hold yourself down
Why dya hold yourself down?
Why dont you listen, you can
Trust me,
Theres a place I know the way to
A place there is need to feel you
Feel that youre alone
Hear me
I know exactly what youre feelin
Cos all your troubles are whithin you
Please begin to see that Im just bleeding to
Love me, love you
Loving is the way to
Help me, help you
- why must we be so cool, oh so cool,?
Oh, were such damn fools...

Hide in your shell- Supertramp

Monday, September 28, 2009

spill out my mind like a glass of water

Some days I feel disconnected from the world. Like no matter what I'm completely alone. I get caught up in my own mind games. When I get bored my mind wonders off into a dangerous place. Seems like what ever emotion I'm feeling at the time, my mind will trap me in it. I know I don't make much sense, how can you be trapped in an emotion? My perception and judgment become completely altered, my character changes. I'm not someone else, but I take a different view on things. Some times cleaver, sometimes spiteful, sometimes blind with too much love. Idk idk idk...
Anyways I've been seeing things, strange things. Today I was walking back to my house after running to the corner store, I was walking across the street and got hit by a car. I was in pain. I shut my eyes, and when I opened them I found myself walking in mid stride to the intersection that I was just laying in. I couldn't believe it. I had just gotten hit by a car but I really didn't. I got to the corner, and no car was in sight. It felt real, I was out of breath but soon as I blinked and opened my eyes I realized it was all in my head. I'm not sure if I imagined all of it or I saw it within the blink of an eye, but it wasn't the first time this had happened. But that's for another day.
My mind is playing tricks on me....

On a brighter note, my connect is coming back in town soon, imma get my work and get to Trappin!

All Black Everything square and compass. For everyone who knows what I'm talking about big ups to you for being a knowledgeable human being, no matter what side your on.

Sunday, September 27, 2009


I failed this year. Not at everything but just about everything. What's that saying "failure is the key to success"??? I don't know, I just know I've failed. From being independent, to school, to my relationship with my parents, friends, and ex girlfriend.
Did allot of running, blaming, arguing, yelling, cursing, wondering, even crying. At the end of all these failures I've grown allot. But I can never escape failure. I failed to take a hint, see the bigger picture, distance myself, most of all I failed on making the right choices. My fault I came at the wrong time, my bad I didn't understand you, sorry I didn't use my head fail because I thought I could fill a gap, not replace but make up for what you didn't have. And even when I did, I fail because I didn't see that you can't drop him over night, I fail for accusing, I fail for being insecure at times, I fail for not LISTENING, I fail for talking too much, I fail for being unstable, I fail for not being your type, I fail for being too nice, I fail for spoiling you, I fail for looking to future memory with you, I fail for past memories with you, I fail for loving you more than a friend should.
All this failure I should be pretty successful right?
They say you can never touch the same water twice, and that you can never get time back, you can interpret
it any way you want.

Monday, September 7, 2009


At age 25, Lance Armstrong was one of the world's best cyclists. He proved it by winning the World Championships, the Tour Du Pont and multiple Tour de France stages. Lance Armstrong seemed invincible and his future was bright.

Then they told him he had cancer.

Next to the challenge he now faced, bike racing seemed insignificant. The diagnosis was testicular cancer, the most common cancer in men aged 15-35. If detected early, its cure rate is a promising 90 percent. Like most young, healthy men, Lance ignored the warning signs, and he never imagined the seriousness of his condition. Going untreated, the cancer had spread to Lance's abdomen, lungs and brain. His chances dimmed.

Then a combination of physical conditioning, a strong support system and competitive spirit took over. He declared himself not a cancer victim but a cancer survivor. He took an active role in educating himself about his disease and the treatment. Armed with knowledge and confidence in medicine, he underwent aggressive treatment and beat the disease.

During his treatment, before his recovery, before he even knew his own fate, he created the Lance Armstrong Foundation. This marked the beginning of Lance's life as an advocate for people living with cancer and a world representative for the cancer community.

Lance Armstrong's victories in the 1999-2005 Tours de France are awe-inspiring, but the battle against cancer has just begun-not just for him, but for all cancer survivors and people just like him who think cancer could not affect them. He plans to lead this fight, and he hopes that you join him. This is a life he owes to cancer. This is his choice to live strong.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

there is a little man sitting in a chair in my head

What the ego calls love is possessiveness and addictive clinging that can turn into hate within a second. Anticipation about an upcoming event, Which is the ego's over valuation of future, easily turns into it's opposite--- letdown or disappointment--- when the event is over or doesn't fulfill the ego's expectations. Praise and recognition make you feel alive and happy one day; being criticized or ignored make you dejected and unhappy the next. The pleasure of a wild party turns into bleakness and a hangover the next morning. There is no good without bad, no high without low.

Run to the sun if you ask me to, give you the moon if you want it,cross the ocean if your on the other side.
I get realer than my ego
Cross my heart <3

The Duck With A Human Mind

One time I saw two ducks get into a fight, didn't last long at all, they seperated and floated off in opposite directions. Then each duck flapped it's wings vigorously a few times, releasing the surplus energy that built up during a fight. After they flapped their wings they floated on peacfully as if nothing ever happend.
If the duck had a human mind, it would keep the fight alive by thinking, by story-making. This would probably be the duck's story: "I don't belive what he just did. He came to within five inches of me. He thinks he owns this pond. He has no consideration for my private space. I'll never trust him again. Next time he'll try something else just to annoy me. I'm sure he's plotting something already. But I'm not going to stand for this. I'll teach him. A lesson he won't forget."
And on and on the mind spins its tales, still thinking about it days, months or years later. As far as the body is concerned, the fight is still continuing, and the energy it generates in response to all those thoughts is emotion, wich in turn generates more thinking. This becomes the emotional thinking of the ego. You can see how problematic the duck's life would become if it had a human mind. But this is how most humans live all the time. No situation or event is ever really finished. The mind and the mind-made "me and my story" keep it going.
Moral of the story is to forgive and forget. Be aware of your thoughts as your mind makes them up. Stick to the facts, try not to concern yourself with simple emotions. The situation your in is the one you make.

Story told by author Eckhart Tolle

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I stroll where souls get lost like vegas

Even if I gotta go and cop a thing,
get up early an go standing on the block, some how I

Even if I have to sit wit the fellaz
at the round table and come up on a plot

We wear struggling chains
Divided only hustle remains
Making sense of it we hustle for change
Revolution ain't a game
It's another name
For life fighting
Someone to stay in they corner like Mike Tyson
Hypes fighting for hits to heighten they hell
Don't he know he only get as high as he fell
Show money becomes bail
Relationships become jail
Children are unheld
I wish love was for sale
Behold the pale

Might not be such a bad idea if I never, never went home again
I'm on my way home
I left three days ago
But no one seems to know I'm gone
Home is where the hatred is
Home is filled with pain and it
Might not be such a bad idea if I never
Never went home again.

If I cant have you let love set you free
To fly your pretty wings around
pretty wings your pretty wings
your pretty wings your pretty wings around