Monday, September 28, 2009

spill out my mind like a glass of water

Some days I feel disconnected from the world. Like no matter what I'm completely alone. I get caught up in my own mind games. When I get bored my mind wonders off into a dangerous place. Seems like what ever emotion I'm feeling at the time, my mind will trap me in it. I know I don't make much sense, how can you be trapped in an emotion? My perception and judgment become completely altered, my character changes. I'm not someone else, but I take a different view on things. Some times cleaver, sometimes spiteful, sometimes blind with too much love. Idk idk idk...
Anyways I've been seeing things, strange things. Today I was walking back to my house after running to the corner store, I was walking across the street and got hit by a car. I was in pain. I shut my eyes, and when I opened them I found myself walking in mid stride to the intersection that I was just laying in. I couldn't believe it. I had just gotten hit by a car but I really didn't. I got to the corner, and no car was in sight. It felt real, I was out of breath but soon as I blinked and opened my eyes I realized it was all in my head. I'm not sure if I imagined all of it or I saw it within the blink of an eye, but it wasn't the first time this had happened. But that's for another day.
My mind is playing tricks on me....

On a brighter note, my connect is coming back in town soon, imma get my work and get to Trappin!

All Black Everything square and compass. For everyone who knows what I'm talking about big ups to you for being a knowledgeable human being, no matter what side your on.

Sunday, September 27, 2009


I failed this year. Not at everything but just about everything. What's that saying "failure is the key to success"??? I don't know, I just know I've failed. From being independent, to school, to my relationship with my parents, friends, and ex girlfriend.
Did allot of running, blaming, arguing, yelling, cursing, wondering, even crying. At the end of all these failures I've grown allot. But I can never escape failure. I failed to take a hint, see the bigger picture, distance myself, most of all I failed on making the right choices. My fault I came at the wrong time, my bad I didn't understand you, sorry I didn't use my head fail because I thought I could fill a gap, not replace but make up for what you didn't have. And even when I did, I fail because I didn't see that you can't drop him over night, I fail for accusing, I fail for being insecure at times, I fail for not LISTENING, I fail for talking too much, I fail for being unstable, I fail for not being your type, I fail for being too nice, I fail for spoiling you, I fail for looking to future memory with you, I fail for past memories with you, I fail for loving you more than a friend should.
All this failure I should be pretty successful right?
They say you can never touch the same water twice, and that you can never get time back, you can interpret
it any way you want.

Monday, September 7, 2009


At age 25, Lance Armstrong was one of the world's best cyclists. He proved it by winning the World Championships, the Tour Du Pont and multiple Tour de France stages. Lance Armstrong seemed invincible and his future was bright.

Then they told him he had cancer.

Next to the challenge he now faced, bike racing seemed insignificant. The diagnosis was testicular cancer, the most common cancer in men aged 15-35. If detected early, its cure rate is a promising 90 percent. Like most young, healthy men, Lance ignored the warning signs, and he never imagined the seriousness of his condition. Going untreated, the cancer had spread to Lance's abdomen, lungs and brain. His chances dimmed.

Then a combination of physical conditioning, a strong support system and competitive spirit took over. He declared himself not a cancer victim but a cancer survivor. He took an active role in educating himself about his disease and the treatment. Armed with knowledge and confidence in medicine, he underwent aggressive treatment and beat the disease.

During his treatment, before his recovery, before he even knew his own fate, he created the Lance Armstrong Foundation. This marked the beginning of Lance's life as an advocate for people living with cancer and a world representative for the cancer community.

Lance Armstrong's victories in the 1999-2005 Tours de France are awe-inspiring, but the battle against cancer has just begun-not just for him, but for all cancer survivors and people just like him who think cancer could not affect them. He plans to lead this fight, and he hopes that you join him. This is a life he owes to cancer. This is his choice to live strong.